YOU
name: Angela
age: 13
are you a dude or a chick: chicky
where do you live: Kansas
any nicknames: Ang, Angie?, Tucker, Fag, Chaz, ect..
sign: Cancer
birthday: July 3rd
eye color: Blue/green
height: 5’4"
shoe size: erm.. Well I know in guy sizes.. That’d be an 8. Girl sizes, I’m not so sure about that..
pets: I HAVE A KITTY!!!!!
school: OMS
transportation: Car?
FAVORITES
color: all neons and black
food: uhh
drink: Vanilla Pepsi
scent: umm..
book: Miracle On 34th street
movie: Elf, The Grudge, Darkness Falls, Jay&Silent Bob Strike Back..
<sup>animal: llamas!!!!!
video game: OMG, Tony Hawk Pro Skater 3, because that’s the only video game I have.
song: I Remember You - Skid Row …or… Another Brick In The Wall - KoRn (COVER) …or… Burning Bright - Shinedown
band: KoRn, Backstreet Boys, N Sync, Slipknot, Pantera, Metallica..
number: 72?
candy: Ahh, candy. Doesn’t really matter.
person: Jason Mewes<33, Joey Jordison, Whitney Pope ;)
EITHER OR
coke or Pepsi: Pepsi
penis or pussy: OMG, PENIS <333333333 Lmao..
rain or snow: Snow
fall or winter: Fall
bath or shower: Shower
black or white: Black
pen or pencil: Pencil
dog or cat: Cat
plate or bowl: Bowl
football or baseball: baseball
electric or acoustic: both
AIM or phone: AIM
clothed or naked: clothed, because I’m not kinky. :P
weed or cigarettes: cigarettes
glass or plastic: glass
banana or strawberry: strawberry
SAME THING, BUT WITH PEOPLE
Jon or Austin: Jon
Austin or David: David
David or Max: Max
Max or Dan: Dan
Dan or Ben: Ben
Ben or Jon: Jon
Zach or Logan: Zach
Logan or David: David
Maren or Gretchen: Maren
Gretchen or Laura: Laura
Laura or Cici: Laura
Cici or Callie: Callie
Callie or Katie: Katie
Katie or Maren: Katie
Cici or Gretchen: Cici
Cathy or Taylor: Taylor
George or Bob: Bob
BF / GF
are you single......: yes.
o well fuck that.... new topic...BANDS
AFI: Ok
HIM: Ok
KoRn: Yayness!
Green Day: Yayness!
Sum 41: Yayness!
Blink 182: Ok
Smile Empty Soul: Ok
Nirvana: Ok
Rammstein: Yayness!
Slipknot: Yayness!
Metallica: Yayness!
Godsmack: Yayness!
Kittie: Yayness
Jack off Jill: ..ehh
Marcy Playground: ..ehh
Tool: Yayness!
Sex Pistols: Ok
Misfits: ..ehh
Ramones: ..ehh
Rancid: ..ehh
Weezer: ..ehh
Dropkick Murphys: ..ehh
Bloodhound Gang: ..ehh
Sugarcult: Ok
Seether: Ok
Jimmi Hendrix: Ok
Marilyn Manson: Ok
Slayer: Yayness!
CKY: Ok
Motley Crue: Yayness!
Cradle of Filth: Yayness!
Daniel Lioneye: Who.. O_o
ICP: Yuck
Linkin Park: Ok
Story of the Year: Ok
Taking Back Sunday: Yayness!
Hoobastank: Ok
Evanescence: Ok
Thursday: ..ehh
Bright Eyes: ..ehh
Dashboard Confessional: Ok
Offspring: Ok
Trapt: Ok
Less Than Jake: Ok
Anti-Flag: ..ehh
Ataris: Yayness!
A Static Lullaby: heard of 'em, but never heard them.
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF....
Coke: like, the drink?
cat: i like my cat!
feet: omg, i fucking hate feet.
cup: cup.
aluminum: oooh, shiny
penis: I <333333333333 PENIS! hahaha
kitty: I LOVE MY KITTY! =)
Pepsi: Pepsi =)
truck: Whoa, like my blanket?
printer: printers rock.
desk: foot.
mall: get out.
prep: I have decided they're not that bad. =X
shower: eww, you're kidding, right? oh, just kidding. =)
whore: you.
blood: grey.
sleep: good.
deprived: anyone who's never seen the backyardigans.
slave: SEX.
green: house
hate: me.
broken: toe.
lust: SEX.
bar: metal beating bar.
Spanish: grande size me.
pole: dancer
pillow: DYLAN! "I bet Dylan would like that".. lmao, Kasey.. =P
blank: Chocolate
c2: moon
light: honey
rain: shine
summer: dislike. =(
ceiling: fan
hat: growl
drawer: nose
drool: hahaha, chuck!
nose: drawer? lmao.
dead: man
short: bread
tall: uncle
phone: call
band: leader
hair: tie
computer: brush
mailbox: mail
stem: flower
remind: rawr
expression: hello
tree: goodbye
hello: expression. ;)
pudding: lemons
LAST
hug: my mother?
book you read: uhh.. among the betrayed
kiss: john. =X
song you listened to: my boo - usher ft. alisha keys because it's someone's xanga song and i have the volume on.
cd you bought: trapt.
friend you saw: uhhhhh.. ashlee!, and before was andrew!, and before that was kasey/lesly while i was chasing their bus! =D
person you talked to on the phone: hmm..
wish: ??
person you thought about: dylan.
website you went to: xanga!
movie you watched at home: school of rock
movie you saw at the theatre: the grudge
song you sang: i remember you - skidddd row
injury: uhh.. my muscle thingy in my wrist
concert: good charlotte, in 6th grade. =(
picture you took: one of my brother.
shower: err.. two days ago?
alcoholic drink: spearmint shnapps.
cigarette: hmm.. like, in october sometime??
car ride: yesterday after schoolio.
time you went to hell: 2 minutes ago. wtf kind of question is this?
FRIENDS
tallest: Matt. =P
shortest: chelsey!
funniest: vici/kasey/nicole/whitney
most boring: omg, kasey, eww.. lmao! jk. =)
bitchiest: err..
hottest: oh, whitney, most definately. ;)
most trustworthy: whitney/kasey
loudest: kasey/nicole.. and chelsey. =P
quietest: bianca
saddest: cheyenne/nicole
craziest: alyssa
stupidest: kasey, but in a good way! ;)
blondest: kasey! hahaha!!
most caring: alyssa/whitney/kasey
most uncaring: err..
someone to just act stupid around: kasey!!!!/alyssa!!!!/whitney!!!!
sluttiest: chelsey
poseur-ish: uhh.. cheyenne
laziest: ...?
most athletic: ...?
most poetic: whitney??
bestest singerer: no idea
who will die alone: chelsey??
who will die a virgin: none. =)
loneliest: cheyenne
least favorite: cheyenne.
your most unlike: cheyenne
your most like: whitney/kasey/alyssa
scariest: um.. whitney? lmao, jk!! =)
WHAT FEELING DO YOU ASSOCIATE EACH COLOR WITH
white: happy
black: sad
red: death
orange: coooool
yellow: glowing
green: hyper
blue: melancholy
purple: gay =)
brown: sick
pink: happy
hot pink: OMG ENERGETIC!!!!!!
gray: sad
silver: sad
gold: sad
copper: cha-ching! (no idea..)
RIGHT NOW
listening to: nothing
watching: nothing
reading: american girl catalog. =X
feeling: sick
shirt: old navy
pants: kansas "pjs"
location: my computer chair.
socks: err.. white ones?
talking to: no one. though if i wasn't away, probably kate.
eating: nothing
drinking: nothing
thinking about: dinner& dylan
shoes: none
underwear: none. haha, jk. =) idk and i'm not about to look. <--too lazy.
on your head.....: hair.
person your thinking about......: Dylannnnnnnnnnnn.
ALMOST DONE...RANDOM QUESTIONS....
what do you think of George W. Bush?: cock smoker. =)
what kind of computer do you have?: dell, i think?
do you have any siblings?: yes.
any step-parents?: nope.
who do you live with?: mommy and daddy.
do you wish you could move?: to a different house, yes.
who do you want to fuck?: dylan. =X
have you been in a 'fist' fight... recently?: nope.
have you been to Hawaii?: nope.
does your mom have fancy china?: hahaha, you're kidding right?
are you a whore?: oh man, yes, caught me.
is your mom a hooker?: dang, caught me again!
do you wish you were in a different grade?: nope.
do you miss someone with all your heart?: yes.
are you wearing a watch?: nope.
what time is it?: 6:01 PM
are your legs smooth?: err.. probably not.
OK... BYE... I LOVE YOU
do you love me too?: yes very much so.



--Your Favorite--
Hair Color: blonde&LONGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
Eye Color: blue.
(Their)Music Genre Preference: metal. =)
Height(estimate): i dont know, taller than me?
Age: same age as i am??
Personality Type: err.. what?
--This or That--
Older or Younger: older or younger, but not by more/less than a few months either way.
Romantic or Horndog: romantic
Smart or Stupid: smart
Fat or Skinny: skinny
Skinny but Muscular or Big and Muscular: neither.
Punk or Preppy: punk
The Big Picture or the Little Things: little things
Flowers/Candy or Big Expensive Present: flowers/candy
Mixtape or Burned CD: cd
Love or Lust: love
Emotional or Just Not: emotional
Sincere or Jokester: both.
Hott and mean or Ugly and sweet: ugly & sweet. <--truthful answer.
Sexy or Just "cute": sexy. =[
Arse or Abs: err, abs.
Hair or Hands: BOTH., but i love hair.
Dimples or Eyes: eyes
Biceps or Calves/Thighs: biceps
Teeth or Nose(some people are just wierd): err.. nose.
Clean Shaven or Scruffy: cleannnnnnnnn
Rugged or Prim and Proper: rugged
Countryboy or Cityboy: if country boy means tight jeans, i'm in for that. =[
Date alone or With Friends: alone
Mama's Boy or Rebel Without A Cause: rebel. =)
--Have You Ever--
Dumped a guy because he liked you too much: nope.
Loved a guy because he stalked you: nope.
Loved a guy because he hated you: yes. =[
Asked your friend's crush out: nope
Lead a guy on for kicks: nope
Asked a guy out purely because he was hott: yes. =X
Flirted with guys even though you had a boyfriend: umm.. yep.
Lied about not having a boyfriend: yep.
Lied about having one: yep. =[
Cheated: yep.
Been Cheated on: nope.
Had a crush on a gay guy: probably.
--Their Clothing(yes/no)--
Boxers?: yes
Briefs?: no
Hat?: BEANIE.
Skater Shoes?: yes
Pimp Shoes?: no
Band Shirts?: yes
Vintage shirts?: no
Southpole/um..other thug clothes..?: no
Dixie Outfitters/Big Johnsons?: no
Independent/DC?: errrr, no?
Skavenger/UGP?: huh..??
Fox/Thor?: ...??
Jeans or Shorts?: jeans
--Be Honest--
Would you ever date a guy for his money?: ever..?
Would you ever date a guy for his social status?: no.
Have you ever liked hanging out with your bf's friends more than him?: nooooooo.
Have you ever pretended to like somebody to make them feel better? nope.
Have you called a girl a whore, when you were screwing lots of guys?: nope.
Do looks matter?: yes.
Are you honestly scared of being dumped?: yes.
Does size matter?: ..yes, sometimes.
Do you avoid 'situations' with ugly guys?: yes.
Are you ashamed to be seen with your ugly friends?: no
Are you ashamed for being ashamed?(you better be): ^not ashamed.
Do you hide things from your crushes/guy friends/bf?: yes.
Do you lie about masturbation for attention or false innocence?: er, what?
Do you really want a guy to say if those jeans make your butt look fat?: no.
Are you dissapointed when your bf doesn't say I love you right away?: no
Wanna be a virgin till marriage?: i don't know..
Do you really love the guys everytime that you say it?: yeah..
Do you dream about your crushes/bfs/guy friends?: yeah
Would you makeout with a guy friend just to get it over with/curiosity?: yeah.
Does this survey suck nuts?: maybe so..



A little about yourself…
>< Given Name:: Angela
>< Gender:: Female
>< Age:: 13
>< Date of Birth:: 7-3-91
>< Location:: Ottawa, KS
>< Marital Status:: single
>< Hair Color:: red
>< Hair Type:: erm.. retarded =)
>< Eye color:: blue/green
>< Skin Color:: totally pale.
>< Height:: 5'4"
>< Shoe Size:: mens = 8/8.5 female = ??
>< AIM/AOL Screen Name:: Murder By Colors/chad grey x kud/x sic of it/178916496617846212 others
Favorites…
>< Word(s):: fuck you, fucking, boner, biatch
>< Language:: erm, english??
>< Food:: no idea.
>< Drink:: Vanilla Pepsi
>< Band:: Slipknot, Pantera, KoRn, Backstreet Boys, N Sync, ect..
>< Singer:: ..??
>< T.V Show:: Laguna Beach. =[
>< Movie:: Darkness Falls, Jay&Silent Bob Strike Back, Elf, The Grudge
>< Pet:: my kitty. =D
>< Animal:: LLAMA!!!!!!!!!!!!
>< Number:: 72
>< Telephone Number:: umm.. 6877?
>< Holiday:: Christmas/Halloween
>< Week Day:: Wednesday
>< Place:: my home
>< Weather:: rainy&warm
>< Flower:: yeller roses
>< Scent:: umm..
>< Color:: neons&black
>< Store:: hot topic.
>< Style:: umm..
>< Book:: Miracle On 34th Street
>< Celebrity:: Jason Mewes<33333333333
>< DVD:: ^^Up there.
Have you ever?
>< Kissed the same sex?: Yes. It was a dare.
>< Went to third?: Nope.
>< Went to second?: Uhh..
>< Had Sex?: Nope.
>< Gotten detention?: HAHAHAHAHA, who hasn't..??
>< Gotten suspended?: nope.
>< Got Grounded?: Again, who hasn't?
>< Cheated On Someone?: yep.
>< Were Caught Cheating?: well, i told 'em, then i broke up with 'em. =)
>< Lost Your Wallet?: Yep.
>< Lost Your Cellular Phone?: <--Don't have one to lose. =(
>< Spied On Your Mom And Dad?: HAHAHAHAHA, yes. It was funny!!
>< Were Caught Doing something wrong?: Umm.. probably??
>< Cursed At Your Parents?: Haha, not so they could hear it.
>< Been In love?: Yeah
>< Been Loved?: Yeah, I think? O_o
>< Used a Friend?: Um, no.
>< Been Used By A Friend?: No.
>< Lost a Friend?: Yeah
>< Been Cheated On?: Nope
>< Been To the Emergency Room?: Nope.
>< Broken a Bone?: Yes
Are you...
>< Heterosexual?: Yes
>< Lesbian/Gay?: No
>< Bisexual?: No
>< Somewhat Attractive?: Uhh..
>< Depressed?: Yeah
>< In Pain?: Emotional&physical both.
>< Worried?: No
>< In Shock?: No
>< Excited?: Yeah, but I don't know what for.
>< Happy?: Not really.
>< Obsessed?: Yes.
>< A Drug Addict?: No
>< A Smoker?: Yes
>< An Alcoholic?: No
>< A Loner?: Not really.
>< Loved?: Nope
>< Hated?: Yep.
>< Wanted?: Nope. =D
>< Unwanted?: Yep.
>< Shy?: Yep
>< Bored?: Yep
>< Having Fun?: Yes
>< Listening To Music?: No
>< Watching T.V?: Yes
>< On the Computer?: Yes
>< Doing Homework?: No
>< Single?: Yes
>< Taken?: No
Choose:
>< Chocolate or Vanilla?: Chocolate
>< Dog or Cat?: Cat
>< Sleeping or Awake?: Sleeping
>< Sunny or Gloomy?: Gloomy
>< Dark or Light?: Dark
>< Pretty or Ugly?: Pretty, as in scenery.
>< Wanted or Unwanted?: Wanted
>< Burgers or Hot Dogs?: Neither, but burgers, I suppose.
>< Sitting or Standing Up?: Sitting
>< Computer or T.V?: Computer
>< Noise or Silence?: Noise
>< Boys or Girls?: Boys
>< Virgin or Non-Virgin?: Virgin
>< Slut or Decent?: Decent
>< Nice or Mean?: Nice
>< Stupid or Smart?: Smart
>< Shy or Funny?: Shy
>< Rain or Snow?: Rain
>< Cold or Warm?: Warm
>< Alone or Companioned?: Companioned
>< School or No School?: School
>< Enemy or Friend?: Friend
>< Cat Fight or Fist Fight?: Fist Fight
>< Gum or Candy?: Gum
>< Juice or Soda?: Soda
>< Beer or Cigarette?: Cigarette
>< Old or Young?: Young
>< Boring or Fun?: Fun
>< Numbers or Letters?: Letters
>< Bath or Shower?: Shower
>< Dry or Wet?: Dry
Currently...
>< Wearing?: clothing. =)
>< Watching?: That Thing You Do, the best fucking movie in the entire universe!!!!!! =D
>< Listening To?: Umm.. That Thing You Do?
>< Staring At?: the screen.
>< Eating?: nothing
>< Drinking?: nothing
>< Smelling?: nothing
>< Tasting?: dinner.
>< Thinking?: how much my head hurts. =)
>< Mood?: tired, depressed, ect..
>< Worry?: none.
>< Taken/Single?: single
Who was the last person...
>< You Talked To?: my mom.
>< You Listened To?: my mom.
>< You Looked At?: my mommmmm.
>< You Smelled?: umm.. hahaha, adrian('s sweatshirt)
>< You Touched?: probably my mother.
>< You Hugged?: MOMMMMMMMM
>< You Kissed?: john. =X
>< Had Sex With?: zero.
>< You Instant Messaged?: kate
>< You Were On the Phone With?: ummmm...
>< Broke Up With?: mick.
>< You Lost?: errrrr..
>< You Missed?: Dylan.
>< You Needed?: Dylan.
>< You Loved?: Dylan.
>< You Wanted?: Dylan.
>< You cried with?: umm.. myself?
>< You Laughed With?: Kasey.
>< Yelled At?: Nicole
>< Who Pissed You Off?: uhh..
>< Who Made You Happy?: Kasey, Lesly, Barbie, and Ashlee. =)
>< Who Made You Sad?: ..Dylan?
>< Who Made You Cry?: Dylan?
>< You Said Hello To?: I don't know.
>< You Said Goodbye To?: No idea.
If you could...
>< Go Anywhere, Where Would You Go?: To the river.
>< Do Anything, What Would You Do?: smoke a cigarette. =(
>< See Anyone, Who Would You See?: Dylan.
>< Fly, Where Would You Fly?: HAHA! I WOULD FLY AROUND THE WORLD!!!!!!!!!
>< Have Anything You Want, What Would It Be?: Dylan.
>< See Anything You Want, What Would You See?: Dylan. =)


^^Have fun. =)</sup>

Okay, I just read an entry on this xanga, and I decided I am going to list what I want in a boyfriend, because of a few reason, and mainly because I have nothing to do.
Keep in mind I'm using some of the ones already on the other list.

-* I want a boy.
*- A nice boy.
-* A boy who has long hair, and will let me comb it for him.
*- A boy who will let me braid his long hair, then laugh at him for it.
-* Who will hold my hand while we walk through the mall and make everyone jealous.
*- A boy who has pretty eyes.
-* And tells me that I have pretty eyes.
*- Right after her moves my hair out of them.
-* And right before he kisses me.
*- A boy who would get in trouble as long as it meant seeing me.
-* Like he'd sneak out.
*- And get caught.
-* On purpose, so I could laugh at him, then cry because he'd be grounded.
*- A boy who would call me at 3 am just to tell me he woke up to get a snack.
-* I want a boy who can give me make-up tips.
*- Because he wears more than me in the first place. <3 <3
-* He would buy me stuff.
*- And it would be cheap, because he used all his money on stuff.
-* For me. =)
*- We'd play with digital cameras.
-* And take pictures with straws up our noses.
*- And he'd tell me I'm beautiful everyday.
-* And when someone told him I wasn't, he'd beat them until they were bleeding.
*- Then beat them some more, because he'd see the smile on my face the first time.
-* I want someone who would lay with me under the stars.
*- And sing softly in my ear while we looked up.
-* And then laugh, because I would laugh because it tickled.
*- I want a boy who can look like a badass and smoke in public.
-* But then is really emotional when I call him an idiot in private.
*- Though he knows I'm joking.
-* I want a boy who can be open with his feelings and not hide anything back.

The end.

I am hungry, and again, I am cold.

Quick story..
Today when me and my mother were driving around, we went past the Anderson's home, and Dylan was looking out the window on the door with his face pressed against the glass while I was singing in the car to Backstreet Boys and making weird faces before I knew he could see me, so I imagine it looked like I was having a fucking heart attack in the car.
But, he was looking out the window, my mom screamed, I stopped singing and looked, and started laughing really really hard because of the fact that I was singing, loudly, with the music up really loud, and it was Backstreet Boys.

Today at school, nothing happened. In english we made snowflakes, and Kasey was talking about something, and Josh Evans thought she said something completely different, so I said something about hopping toads, and then Kasey wrote a story about hopping toads, so I wrote a story about raping someone's hair, then them.. and, wow..

My neck itches.

And I have nothing to do. So I'll probably put something on here for giggles or something.
I don't know.

The end.

-xx9:12PMxx-
Ok, now I'm just going to be completely random and put things down out of no where.

Kasey is ungrounded THIS WEEKEND!!! But!!!!, she's going to be in Oklahoma!!! =(
So I don't get to do anything with her until next Friday, and then she'll probably go to the Christmas parade with my mother! =P

I'm.. tired.
And cold.

And earlier, I had my pant leg rolled up scratching my leg, and then I realized.. I cut myself. So.. my mom could have easily seen it. But, she was getting something out of the fridge, so she didn't. WOW LUCKY FOR ME, HUH?

I was scared about not wearing my band-aid in gym today, because Dylan's in my gym class and what-not, and then Alyssa pointed out to me that he wasn't going to look at my leg really close and say, "Hey! That's my name on your leg!".. which I guess I didn't realize.
But I don't know why not, because I should have.

MOTHER FUCKER MY HOUSE IS COLD!!!
[futher mucker.. hahaha, don't ask. i mean, obviously you know what this means, but it's a long story as to why it's funny at all.]

Ow, wow, okay, I just hit my leg on the fucking computer thing and it hurts like a bitch now.

In band now, percussion can't sit behind the risors, meaning I have to sit where people can actually see me, meaning that I actually have to play now..
Ugh, all because of Keith.

Lmao, I just remembered! Today, Keith was in T.O. and Kyle and Keith always fuck with each other and hit their snares really loudly and say it was the other one and so Keith wasn't there today and Kyle did it and goes, "Keith! Gosh!" So for the rest of band, John, Kyle, Caleb, and Adrian would be like, "Keith! Stop it!" and Caleb was saying, "Keith! Stop trying to take the tamborine!" for no reason because no one was even touching the tamborine. And then Adrian dropped one of him drum sticks and then picked it up and as soon as he stood back up, he dropped the other one and John's like, "Jesus Christ, Adrian! Slippery fingers?!" and then someone says, "It was Keith, huh Adrian?"

It was funny.. I guess.. you would've had to have been there?

Okay, I'm done now.

I'm so confused.
And I'm so out of it today.
Like I can't remember anything.

And I have a feeling this has something to do with one or more of the following..

First; it's nearing to Christmas and I'm getting anxious, of course, who isn't?
Second; I'm being really pressured by my parents and my teachers to do better work in class. Like yesterday, my mom fucking yells at me about not knowing what to do on my homework and tells me she "expects better of me" and my teachers do, too.
Third; stress in school is getting uncontrollable. Why is it that everything I say is a lie now? Ohh, nevermind. Because I've done it like, one or two fucking times before, so now it's obvious that I'm doing it again? Yeah, okay. It's not like I'm going to fucking lie to a mass amount of people, my friends, because when they found out, I would lose a lot of fucking friends. So I don't really think I'm going to be doing that any time soon.
Fourth; Dylan. Basically self-explanitory. I mean, I guess that I can't seem to get anywhere in my life now without hitting the same thing that messed me up in the first place. Like I'm just going in a damn circle. Around and around.. Ugh.
Fifth; I feel horrible about hurting Mick again. Again. But I couldn't even fucking remember I was going out with the kid. I'm losing it, I swear.

Murder By Colors: i'm at an all-time low and i just broke someone's heart, i know i did. i feel awful about the whole thing because it's the second time i did, but my mind is so fucking screwed right now, i couldn't even remember that i was going out with the kid in the first place.
Murder By Colors: i'm so confused, i don't know what i'm doing.O=)
Murder By Colors: =/
xeyelessdoll13x: what? who were you going out with that you forgot about?
Murder By Colors: lmao, Mick.
Murder By Colors: I'm like..
Murder By Colors: ugh, one second i'm over here, the next i'm over there, and i don't remember getting there..
Murder By Colors: and that was a very real example, because today at least 10 times i was at one place in a room, and would then be on the other side with no idea how i got there.
xeyelessdoll13x: whoa...are you on anything today?
Murder By Colors: nope.
Murder By Colors: lmao, that made me laugh.=)
xeyelessdoll13x: hahaha


Tomorrow:
I get to go to my last day of school for this week, suffer through the day because it's going to just go by so slowly and I'm going to see everyone for the last time this week, which sound stupid because I'll just see them again soon, but I can't control the way I feel.., then head off to drum lessons and have my nose all red by the time I get there because it's going to be a little bit cold, then go back to the school after drum lessons, hang out with nothing to do for about a half hour, practice my fucking bell part with Mr. Paquette, and then get a ride home from him after that's all done with.
Fun fun.

Today:
Nothing happened in math, and we watched Finding Nemo in science. We had a sub in social studies. English was fucking boring, like always. At lunch, Nicole and I decided that this weekend we're going up to KC to see Tripp, which hopefully this will work out. I imagine it will unless my cousin gets sick or something, or goes to Maryland for Thanksgiving, in which case, Tripp will probably come here. Nothing happened in enrichment, and the only thing we did in electives was play basketball in gym and I got bitched at in band for not giving all my "participation" or something in band now that we were in concert season. Eh, whatever. But, yeah, that's why I have to go in tomorrow after school and whatever.

My house is really cold. Really, really cold.
I think I'm getting a cold.
Thank god. I didn't have a cold last year, or not serverely enough to miss school, but I love being sick.
It's the feeling of it. I mean, not the feeling of being sick, but the feeling of being home sick, just being fucking lazy all day.. but then again, what else can you do?

My mom just kissed me on my head and walked off?
Erm.. okay?

Today after school, Alyssa was trying to talk to Dylan and I had him in like, a fucking choke hold by his sweatshirt. It was so funny.It was me, Alyssa, Aja, Patrick, and Adam all against Dylan. I also sat on him again, and jumped on his back and practically killed him and I was trying to knee him in the balls, but decided not to just because I didn't want to steal that from him. It was so fucking great. So now Trevor's sitting on me twice!! Hell yes! Lmao, that's a fucking long story, but if you knew, you'd be laughing quite hard right now.

Oh fuck, today in gym class, I told Kyle Reeve I was going to buy some steal toed boots and kick him really hard in the balls. It was so funny, because he laughed, then I was like, "..If you have any." And I was getting all excited when we played that team because Cid was on it and I'm all like, "OH MY GOD I GET CID!" and it was funny because I was sliding all around the floor because of the duct tape on my shoes and I couldn't keep up with him.. haha, wow.

Okay, I'm done. This entry is longer than it should have been.

The end.

-xx9:57PMxx-
Murder By Colors: i breaked up with mick today.
Murder By Colors: lmao i almost put mr. mick=P
xCottonCandyx420: omg y?
Murder By Colors: you really want to sit and listen to me bitch about this?
xCottonCandyx420: yes
Murder By Colors: okay=P
xCottonCandyx420: so tell bitch!
Murder By Colors: well first off, i didn't like him? i mean, i did, but i didn't have any real feelings for him. not to mention i couldn't even remember i was going out with him in the first place, and i've been so confused, so completely messed up lately that i can't actually remember anything. like today, for example. i would be at one spot in the room, and the next thing i know, i'm on the complete other side of the room, not knowing how i got there and not remembering actually moving at all to get there.
Murder By Colors: basically i did it because i don't feel like i'm in the "mood" for a relationship [and if i was, not with him], because i can't remember anyway, because so many things are going on right now i can't think straight and it's just difficult for me to even deal with anything else so i don't really need all this bullshit with the fucking false happiness like i've tried to have so many times before.
Murder By Colors: now i just want to cut myself, i want to cry at random point in the day for no reason at all, i want to have a phsyciatrist, i need anti-phsycotics and anti-depressants, i want someone to talk to that i can trust to always be there when i'm feeling like a bucket of shit, someone that's not one of my friends.
Murder By Colors: i just.. i can't explain it. i want to feel the pain again, i don't want to have to cover it all up.
xCottonCandyx420: ya i know wat u mean maby u should go to anger management or sumtin like that with us
Murder By Colors: anger management?
Murder By Colors: with who?=P
xCottonCandyx420: me alyssa kelli g.  and umm i think chelsea snow when she comes back to school
Murder By Colors: and why do i need to go to anger management if i'm depressed, not angry?=P
xCottonCandyx420: umm well then go to depression class
xCottonCandyx420: or emotions class

and another..
Murder By Colors: ohh, well i'm leaving you this to come back to.. i may be going to "emotions class" because i'm all depressed lately and my friend told me to go to angre management with her and these other people, but i was like, "wtf, i'm not angry, i'm depressed, moron" so they told me about emotions class, i may be getting a phsyciatrist so that i can have someone to talk to and rely on to be there when i need them to be, i mean like, exact moment, and so i can get like fucking anti-phsycotics and anti-depressants, because i'm going fucking insane.
xeyelessdoll13x: damn...
xeyelessdoll13x: i hope things look up for you
Murder By Colors: or maybe i won't leave it for you to come back to since you weren't away to begin with=P
xeyelessdoll13x: lol
xeyelessdoll13x: but now im leaving
xeyelessdoll13x: so goodnight my dear
Murder By Colors: okay well i will leave you messages anyway?=)
Murder By Colors: because no one else is on=P
xeyelessdoll13x: lol okay
Murder By Colors: woot, well i am just going to type type type! and probably make no fucking sense at all but when do i ever? anyways, i'm back to liking dylan again, therefore resulting in maximum depression and since i'm a mother fucking idiot, i'm going to be cutting his name into my leg tonight because i want to cut and i want to bare all because i'm tired of all my "i'm so happy blah blah blah" false happiness bullshit.

Auto response from xeyelessdoll13x:

                        Moonlight Sonata

Murder By Colors: like it kills me so damn much to be in so much pain, yet the pain is the only thing real to me anymore.


Yes, I am cutting. Because, yes, I am in fact the biggest fucking idiot you'll ever meet. =)

The end, because I'm about to have to get offline.